The time has come...

Well we leave for Russia in about 6 hours. Hopefully posting and gathering my thoughts will help relax me so that I can get some sleep tonight.

The fact that we are actually going to leave almost doesn't seem real. I don't really feel excited or anxious in the way you do the night before Christmas. Maybe it will all set in tomorrow when we are actually flying to Moscow. Maybe not though. I don't know if it ever sunk in that I was in Paris and London just about 4 months ago.

Maybe I've just gotten used to the life that I lead. I've gotten used to thinking that this trip was a long ways away. I tried to focus on the day I was living in instead of the day that we would leave. Well that day has now arrived but it seems like it should still be a few weeks away.

Am I ready for this trip? Spiritually? Emotionally? Yes and no. I mean I feel like I'm ready, like my focus is in the right spot yet I feel like I haven't learned all that much being apart from Tad and now I get to see him again. I'm sure that I have learned plenty including patience and I guess that learning doesn't have to end when I get to see him. Now we get the chance to learn together.

I suppose on the upshot (as Hei-Chi would say) this trip is not about me or how I feel about it. It's about God and letting him work in us and through us. I am excited to get the opportunity to encourage those that are in Russia both long term and short term. I'm also excited about getting to meet and work with all the youth in Shar'ya.

It's gonna be and amazing trip because it's not about me but about serving God with all my heart!

My Hero, Nancy Drew

I just watched this short biography on PBS about Mildred Wirt Benson. That name is probably not familiar to anyone so let's try Carolyn Keene. If you still can't figure it out how about Nancy Drew.

My new best friend Mildred wrote the first 23 of the original 30 Nancy Drew books. It's really an interesting story about where the ideas for the books came from and how they were published. I'll spare you the details but I was hooked. Probably because Nancy Drew was my hero when I was growing up.

I always loved mysteries. It started with the Boxcar Children, then it was Nancy Drew, and finally anything written by Agatha Christie. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it has something to do with figuring stuff out or as we teachers like to say "problem solving." That's probably the same reason that I like math.

So this show about Mildred brought back all of my delightful childhood memories of Nancy Drew. It has also sparked an interest in one of Mildred's other characters that she wrote about under her own name, Penny Parker. Mildred said that Penny Parker was a better Nancy Drew than Nancy Drew was. This intrigues me! I want to read a Penny Parker book.

It probably won't happen though. They are hard to come by and I'll probably forget all about this soon especially with this Russia trip. But for right now it's fun and exciting and I'll go to bed tonight wishing once again that I was Nancy Drew just like it did when I was 10.

One month

So it's been just about a month since I've dropped Tad, Matt, and Erin off in Florida. It seems like forever ago but yet like yesterday. I really do miss them all.

What I miss most is knowing what's going on in their lives. I miss meeting with Erin every week to just talk about what God's been teaching us. I miss Matt sharing RA and CSF leadership experiences with Matt. We often seem to be on the same page with our thoughts on many issues. But most of all (big surprise here) I miss Tad.

I miss just talking to him about random things like how I couldn't give blood or showing off my new hair cut. I also miss hearing about what God is teaching him. It's hard to know absolutely nothing about what's going on. Sure there are updates and things and I know what they are doing but I want to know how he feels about it. What are the things that he likes the most about Russia? What is the thing he misses the most? What has God been showing him? What is the funniest thing that's happened to their group? These are all things that I want to know. It's hard to not be part of this part of his life.

On the other hand I know deep down inside that this is what's BEST for both of us. I'm sure that without the distraction of me God is teaching him many things. I know that I've learned a few things too. Right now He's teaching me to have a humble, servant's heart. I know it's for the best but it doesn't make it any easier.

Oh well I'll just give it all over to God and let him be my peace and joy.

And I'll leave a week from tomorrow to go to Russia :) only to come back and again and leave my friends there for a couple more weeks. We won't think about that now. God can teach me something new then!

Great Friends and Family

It's been awhile since I've last posted. This is due mostly to the fact that my computer wouldn't let me log onto windows.

I also went home for a few days. My mom tagged along with my dad on a business trip he had to make to Chicago so I had to "babysit" my 14 year old brother. All he really needed was a ride to his basketball game Thursday night. It was good to get to hang out with him though,when he didn't lock himself in his room. It must be a teenager thing. I wonder if I was like that?

I also got to hang out with my friend Sarah who is getting married in 5 days. I helped make 325 favors one day and got out of the experience that I am not having a big wedding that requires lots of details, nor am I letting Nanette's mom know anything about what I'm doing at my wedding. ;) I also got a chance to just hang out with Sarah and Nanette and a few other girls Saturday night so Sarah could relax before her crazy busy week. It was really good to get to see people that I haven't got a chance to see too often since we all started growing up.

Then of course there was Father's day. I spent the day at home yesterday with my daddy. I'm such a daddy's girl but also have an amazing dad. And I'm not just saying that. He really is cool. He's funny yet can be serious in 2 seconds and he loves Jesus. I like to just sit and talk with him because a lot of the times we are on the same page and we "get" each other. I couldn't have asked for a better father. God has truly blessed me! :)

Trusting God for the BEST

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever -
do not abandon the works of your hands
~Psalm 138:8

This week I finished reading both "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" and "Passion and Purity." These are both really good books that I would recommend to anyone, especially women. They have been very encouraging to me this week and I would just like to share a few of my thoughts with you.

• I desire (and want to passionately desire) God to satisfy my longings for love. It's tough but He's the only one that can love me the way that I truly need loved.
• I've been reminded that I need to give everything over to God, both the good and the not so good stuff in my life.
• I don't want to settle for something in my life that's just good. God has the BEST in mind for me and I don't want to settle for anything less. It might not be pretty or easy or painless getting there but I'm holding out for the BEST in my life.
• God is in control. He's leading this dance. I just have to follow.

There's much much more in store for me to learn I'm sure!

A surprise wedding!?!?!

So I'm watching a wedding story on TLC (go figure) and the wedding is a surprise to the bride. She thought she was just doing a bridal fashion show but when she got to the end of the runway it was her actual wedding.

Is it just me or is there something very strange and possibly wrong with this scenario? It just doesn't seem right.

sssshhhhh

I am, right now as we speak, working at the front desk and there are librarians staying here this week. I just thought I would let you know that I just got a great sense of pride as they all came back from a meeting and found me reading a book while "working." I felt like I fit right in.

Ok so they probably don't care what I do or even notice me but I know that I was reading in the presence of librarians and that now I am way cool!

It's stinkin HOT out there

It's just my luck that the day I'm going grocery shopping it happens to be 92 degrees and the air conditioner in my car decides to not work like it occasionally does.

Anyway I've decided that I really do need to try to live one day a time like the title of this blog states. I find myself always thinking "If I can just make it to this point, I'll be fine." If I can make it to springbreak, if I can make it to the end of the school year, if I can just make it until we get to go to Russia then everything will be ok. But what about right now? I'm missing so much by always looking ahead.

There's an analogy of life being like a dance with God. (It's out of my new favorite book, Do You Think I'm Beautiful? by Angel Thomas) I find myself dancing with God but always looking forward to the next song that'll be playing. And once that song comes I look forward to the next one. Do I ever really enjoy the song that's playing, that I'm dancing to? This is the question.

So I'm going to try to focus on what God has for me today and get rid of my Russia countdown. It'll be here before I know it and be over soon too. Life goes by too fast to miss this moment.

Here I am

So I had been considering doing this blog thing for maybe a week or so now but after talking with Nanette today I've decided to give it a try. Now I don't want you all to be too excited out there because if you know anything about me you know that I like things to be short and sweet. I can try to promise you sweet but it'll be short for sure. I've had mixed feelings about blogs in the past and don't really want to get sucked into reading blogs all day everyday. (I will be reading and posting comments on Nanette's though) This summer though I've been blessed with a great job and therefore have time on my hands that should probably be used in a more productive manner than sitting at my slow computer writing to people I don't know. I am expecting a great summer so I thought that those I do know who might not get to talk to me that often could benefit from having my thoughts posted. (Also please note that I am a horrible speller so please don't hold it against me.)

Ok so here's a little background on what's on my mind and what's been happening already this summer so that I won't have to fill you in on too much later on. So the one thing that comes to my mind that's probably going to define this whole summer is Russia. For some reason (ok lots of reasons) it's the only thing that I can think of. You see I'm going there in July for a two week mission trip with other UISers. But more importantly my boyfriend (oh how I dislike using that word),Tad, is there already and I really have no way to communicate with him other than letters that take two weeks to get there. It's surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be. I still miss him but I know that God is going to do great things in both of our lives while we're apart. Tad spent a week in Florida before going over to Russia and I know that God was already working in him then and can't wait to hear what he's learning now. I've also been learning. My great friend Heather pointed out the other night a verse that came up in a bible study we did last semester. In Revelation 2, Jesus tells John to warn the church in Ephesus that they had forgotten their first love. So I've made it my goal this summer to remember my first love, the only One that can love me fully, the way that I need loved. I'm excited and can't wait to be taught even though it'll be tough. I'm excited too about getting to spend time with my friends and my family and making a scrapbook about my trip to Europe.