It's beginning to look alot like Christmas...

Tad and I are very much looking forward to Christmas and have quickly got into the Christmas mood. More so the commercialized/Christmas tree/Christmas songs/etc mood (but hey at least I admit it)

It's of course our first Christmas together like so many others out there ;) and we bought a tree this weekend, also like so many others out there. And if anyone wants to come over and see it you are more than welcome.

It's not decorated yet but it came prelit so it's got plenty of lights and looks great anyway. It's hard blending two sets of holiday traditions yet exciting to be creating new ones.

The trick is to really get into the Christmas season and what it's all about. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a celebration of God sending his only son to save us. Us...people that rarely recognize Him and yet He loves us that much. wow! So as I sit here looking at my new Christmas tree I remember God's love and how Christ coming to earth was the fulfillment of plan that He came up with so long before and is still being worked out today.

It's a good reminder in this life to know that God is in control. He knows what He's doing and always has!

I'm in LOVE!

I just want to take a minute and let everyone know how much I love my husband.

He's very encouraging and challenging to me. He helps me get through tough days and school and patiently listens to my numerous stories about 7th hour. He also celebrates with me on the good days and helps me to relax and have fun on the weekends.

He shows his love for my in so many ways from cooking me dinner to helping with the dishes and cleaning to snuggling with me on the couch as we watch our few regular TV shows.

And guess what? We've almost been married a year and every minute of it's been great. I'm not saying that there aren't those moments when I just cry in his arms, but I'm so glad that he's there to hold me and listen to me. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

I'll stop now with the mushy stuff but I just felt the need to let you and him know how much I love him!

Searching for More

I just read my last post to remember what I was thinking last and I realize I've come quite a way since then. At the beginning of the year I was so worried about having to do something and about leaving Tad behind. I still hate leaving Tad behind to go to work but work is becoming less and less work to me.

In a conversation I had with Tad a couple weeks ago I realized that I don't think of my job as a job anymore. It's something I really love to do. It's my ministry. It's how I reach these kids who need more reaching than they know. There are definately those days when I seriously think of locking them in the room for an hour and letting them kill each other while I go to Starbucks and relax. But they need me.

I'm still looking forward to Christmas break though. Six weeks away (I think)! There will be nothing to grade and no lesson plans to make and this year no wedding to plan. It's going to be so relaxing.

So now that that's not really an issue, I have other issues. But this is just how life goes. Right now I really miss my friends. They've moved to Florida (where its warm by the way and I am very jealous) and Kansas or they stayed in Springfield and I moved to Lake Fork. I miss everyone so much. I miss late night talks (the talks more than the late nights) I miss eating dinner with 10 different people every night in the cafeteria. I miss bible studies and CSF leaders meetings and everything about CSF.

But I have those foundations that I gained through the teaching and community of CSF and I'm trying to make things work here in my new life. Things are just so hard. It's hard to make time for friends when you come home at night exhausted and fall asleep on the couch at 8:30. It's hard to get involved in a small group when your church has 20 regular attenders who are all your parents age. It's just so hard and I just long for something more.

But like I said, I have the foundations. I'm getting in the word and reading some good books and have a great husband who is so encouraging. I wouldn't trade him for any thing. I also have a great family that I get to see and connect with a little more.

So I'll just keep on growing and learning. That's what life is ... continually growing and learning.